Cold Turkey

I’ve never been one for cold turkey.  I mean I can’t eat cold turkey anymore since my health crisis but I’m talking more about cutting things off completely.  Breakups always took me months, I was never good at making rash decisions, and diets always had to be eased in to.  But when all of my health stuff happened I lost my purpose cold turkey.  I no longer could party like I wanted to, work the hours that I used to, or even just simply go on day to day as planned.  Everything changed- and it changed upbruptly.  This mixed with hours to the day of nothing to do but sit and think about how crappy I felt led to depression and anxiety.  I had to figure something out- some way to occupy my day and nights and not go absolutely crazy in the meantime.  It wasn’t fair to rely solely on my fiancé to do that so I started madly obsessing about certain things.  First it was the house. I had to have a house.  I couldn’t wait- I wanted one- and I was going to get one.  Check.  Then it was the dog.  I wanted my dream dog right away.  Check.  The months after were filled with renovating the house and decorating… but then came the boredom.  I decided I needed a baby (harder than you would think) so to occupy this new conundrum that I couldn’t quite figure out I started crafting.  I made soap- it fell apart.  I made candles- and cut myself on all the glass.  I jared so much fruit and vegetables that I ran out of room.  I tried every hobby possible to fill my void but unfortunately nothing would stick.  Nothing interested me enough to keep it up and not give up in the process.  Until I took something I did daily (cooking) and spiced it up a bit.  I joined one (actually many) of those mail delivery food sources where they send you every single thing you need and a handy recipe to make the perfect meals.  And it really did- I was cooking things I never dreamed of and they were tasting pretty darn good!  Finally… I found a hobby!! 2013-10-25_1382664913

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